We're Adopting and Waiting!

If you feel this blog is all over the place: infertility, loss, chemo, adoption, then you'd be right! But this has been our story over the past few years and this is the only way I know how to tell it. 

On November 20, 2020, I listened to the amazing story of Justi Hudson and the ups and downs she and her husband went through adopting their children on the WBGL podcast "The Unfolding". (amazing podcast, check it out! Justi's  episode is Page 70)

At that point, we had been trying to start a family for about a year, and as I listened to her praising God about how her adoption worked out, I began to feel an awe, wonder, and passion for adoption.  I prayed, "God, if you want us to adopt, you're gonna have to convince Tony.  And if this truly is in your plan for us, have Tony bring up adoption tonight."

"Hey, ya know I was thinking today about how beautiful adoption is and how it is a reflection of how God adopted us as His children," Tony said as we were sitting down at the dinner table. (Galatians 4:4-5).

😮!!! I smiled as I knew I had received my confirmation.  We then discussed how we would look more into it maybe after having a child of our own, but here we are now, knowing God had other plans.

Fast forward to Summer/Fall 2022 when we signed onto an adoption agency: Evangelical Child and Family Agency in Wheaton, IL.  They were wonderful to work with and explained all the intricate details that make up the domestic infant adoption process (this is the process we have taken, there are multiple ways that I just will not be able to cover here) :

1. Home study: 4 visits, 2 at our home, 2 at their office looking at the safety of our home and at us as a couple.  We even had to write about our childhood, schooling, dating and then our marriage.  There were background checks, fingerprinting, checks written, and lots and lots of paperwork. We had to have difficult discussions about how we felt about certain drugs, races, medical issues, psychological issues that the baby or his/her mom may have.  It was a lot to process and a lot to complete.

2. Christian Adoption Consulting Agency: once we were home study approved, we moved on to a national consulting agency.  If we were to just stay at our home study agency in Wheaton, it could take 2-4 years to adopt because there just aren't a lot of newborns adopted out in Illinois compared to the number of waiting couples.  The Consulting Agency works with adoption friendly states (mostly FL, AZ, UT) and has you sign on with 4-6 agencies throughout the US to expediate the process (about 7-12 months).

3. Profile making: one of the biggest steps is creating a 24 page book of pictures and information about us.  We also used our Consulting Agency to help with this important step.  This adoption profile book is what is shown to the birth mom, and she picks the couple she wants for her baby based on this profile!

4. Individual Agency applications: more and more paperwork, emailing, mailing and checks written!

5. Waiting..... this is where we are currently.  We are approved and "live" at four agencies.  This means that when they receive a situation (this is the term used to describe a baby and birth mom along with their background info) that fits our profile, they will email us to let us know.  Then, we get to pray and decide if we want our profile presented to her.

Everyone says waiting and rejection are by far the hardest part of the adoption process.  When we were trying to start our family ourselves, I had many expectations: maybe it would take a few months to get pregnant, pregnancy would be tough but normal, birth hard but fine and Waahlah...child! I had to grieve each of those expectations.....

I have very few expectation for our adoption process: God will be with us through it all and will receive all the glory through every twist, turn, and stall.  I expect ups, downs, and for God to wow us with His Divine Providence. I trust Him with every ounce of my being and cannot wait for Him to reveal our story.  

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20 😁