Chosen to Suffer

 

“And every prayer we prayed in desperation.

The songs of faith we sang through doubt and fear…”

“I chose you for this.” God whispered to my heart while I was driving, crying and singing along to Hymn of Heaven by Phil Wickham.

I’m not someone who hears God speak to me fairly often.  Most of the time He speaks through scripture and guides me that way.  So, I was surprised on this particular day to hear Him speak so clearly. 

What is the “this” He chose me for?

Those lyrics always remind me of Tony and my sufferings: infertility, miscarriages, scary diagnoses….God was telling me He chose me for those particular sufferings.

I cried all the more as waves of gratitude poured over me.  It was His sweet way of reminding me that He is in control of it all and that all our pain has a purpose that is grander than what I currently see or may ever see.  God was confirming what I was already clinging to: that He is working in our sufferings.

I think my response to God telling me that He had chosen me to suffer a couple years ago would have been quite different.  But, I had already worked out some of the harder questions we may face in our faith journeys like “Is God really good?”, “Can I fully trust God when He allowed this…?”  and my faith has only increased since (I hope to share more as time goes on with these matters).

Paul prayed three times that God would heal him and take away his “thorn” in his side.  God responds with this rather than taking his thorn away, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9). I’m convinced that God’s grace feels insufficient to us when we believe that our lives should be without suffering. But Scripture tells us “Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed….So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.” (1 Peter 4:12-13, 19).

And then we have James, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4).

So Trials + God’s Grace + perseverance = joy, not lacking anything, and doing good

God is gracious to choose us to partake in the sufferings of Christ.  It is there where we come face to face with the heavy weight of sin, the imperfections of a fallen world, and the great mercy of Christ.  It is there where we learn to repeat “Not my will, but Yours.”  And it is there where we humbly accept that God does not owe us any one thing, yet, He gave us the greatest gift: salvation.

God doesn’t owe me a baby.  God doesn’t owe me good health. 

“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.’” Matthew 16:24-25

May we learn to lay down our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our plans, our health at the feet of Jesus, let Him do whatever He wants with all of it, and take up that whichever He has for us fully realizing He is our prize, and can be trusted with all of it.

"And every prayer we prayed in desperation
The songs of faith we sang through doubt and fear
In the end, we'll see that it was worth it
When He returns to wipe away our tears" -Phil Wickham Hymn of Heaven