The Goodness of God….meet our son, Solomon!
Surrendering my desire to have a biological child was one of
the most painful moments of my life. And
looking at my sleeping son the day after his adoption was finalized, was one of
the most beautiful moments of my life.
Both moments are part of my story and Tony’s story. And in both moments, God was and is good.
Many times during our 4 year infertility journey, I would
“write” the rest of our story in my head.
For example I would think, “God is so good because he allowed us to get
pregnant just a week before we were to start IVF. What a great story to glorify His
goodness!”…..We miscarried a couple days later.
Or I thought, “Wow, God is so good! We just started the
adoption process and got pregnant. What
a great story to glorify His goodness!”….. Fast forward 6 weeks later and I was
having a D&C surgery to remove our deceased baby…fast forward 3 months
later and I was sitting in a chemo ward to treat a type of cancer that
miscarriage caused.
I’ve known in my head that God is good all the
time. But through my journey, I’ve experienced
how God is just as good in the suffering, as He is in the celebrating. God is not just good because of what He does
or doesn’t do, but He is good because of who He is. And it’s a foolish thing to try and write my
own “God story” and plan out how He can be glorified. He’s God, He’s sovereign and there is no
formula such as “this suffering + that
suffering = earned victory”. Sometimes
the victory never comes, but He is still good. He is just as glorified by our
offering of faith in Him during our sufferings, as He is by our singing of
praise after incredible triumphs or miracles.
The story God writes for His kids, is “immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine”. (Ephesians 3:20).
Why did I think I could try to imagine it!! Because what He had in store
for Tony and me was something we never could of come up with on our own. Don’t get me wrong, we did our due diligence
and had hours of paperwork, meetings, and had to pay a lot of bills associated
with adoption. We had to do our part as
God led us down the adoption road. But I
never could of orchestrated all the behind the scenes that led to our son
resting in our arms….
A birth mom who survived a fatal car crash when she was an
infant
A birth mom who specifically requested a married infertile
couple with no children who were Christians who attended a Baptist church
(checkmark to all of the above!).
A 3% chance we would be chosen out of the 30 couples applying
for this child
A baby protected from harmful drugs, alcohol, and nicotine (pretty
rare in infant adoptions)
A home(Illinois) adoption agency who would have our back
when the placement process got dicey
A God who planned the exact child, at the exact timing that
He decided. A son who would light up our
house with His smile, crack us up with his laughter, challenge us with sleep
deprivation, but turn out to be the biggest blessing of our lives.
Praise be to the God who knows exactly what He is doing,
never leaves us during the hard moments, and is there to celebrate with us in
the victories.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths
straight.” Proverbs 3: 5-6
Photo shoot at one month!
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